I was reading a book by T. S. Monk titled Brunei Days. It was about an Englishman’s personal view and first-hand experience of the life in Brunei during the post-war (after the Second World War) time. There was one special sentence from the book that I’d like to quote,
“And when parents, of any race in Brunei, disapproved of anything, it was difficult for the children to go against their wishes.”
What he said was true, and still is. Which makes life sometimes difficult for the young people. You want to do this, but your mom says you can’t. You want to do that, but your father is against it. The only time when you are free to do according to your heart’s desires is once you are married and started a family of your own. But even that shadows of your parents will still not be too far behind you.
I’ve given this a long thought and wonder what will happen to me. My parents, and especially my mom, belong to that category. I shall excuse you from having to learn what kind of life I’m living. Trust me, you don’t want to know. Suffice to say, there are times when I feel like running away from home. But I know I’ll never get to really do it, simply because, I just don’t have the guts.
Tagged under: book, confession
Categorised under: Me, Real life
I’m lucky because whenever my parents told me I couldn’t do something they would give me a reason, instead of just saying “don’t do that”.
I hope if there’s anything important your parents will understad and let you do it :)
I’ve simply just run off to hide out until I would be able to calm down enough to face my parents. That’s the worst I’ve done. Unfortunately, it wasn’t like anyone I knew or was friends with had a car and could drive so we could actually go somewhere for me to really hide out. My brother’s run off several times since I’ve gotten my car and can drive.. So I’ve been able to drive around with him hot-headed, but I can grant him the time he needs to calm down before being brought home. I wish I was able to experience that.
Kids these days even have it hard. In the town I live, I see six year olds walking to school from their homes because their parents won’t drive them… Or their parents aren’t even home. They have to grow up way too fast and fend for themselves. Most of the time, from I’ve seen with the teens my age is, they grow up to be cruel people.. Or just downright trouble to the point they end up in trouble with the law. It’s really terrible, and I often-times almost pity them. :/
Twitter: kyoundead
$100 is DEFINITELY a lot to me. XP I think it’s ridiculous for things like that, that I swear USED to be free and on every computer, are suddenly only trials. -_-
Oh, dear Kitty. I think that other cultures are fascinating and that some practices should be preserved because we’re all getting too homogeneous, but not in this case. I think it’s odd that parents should still be so strict. :/
Ds s interesting topic, Kit :happy: I remember when u mentioned abt ur mom in ur last post. But when our parents disapprove things dat we really2 wanted to do like hang out wif friends to d mall, having slumber party, etc. just to have fun and we didnt care abt what dey are talking and jz went out it always end up in bad news (accident, being robbed, etc.). Parents knows best. But sometimes wen we dun attend to do bad stuff, they also dun trust us and dats drive us crazy. Huhuh! o_O To build their trust u gotta make them understand and acknowledge them wf whom ure goin wf and wat will u do rather then make them feel suspicious or even worse follow u where ever u are going :)
The internet can be a wonderful, wonderful place. It’s where most of my friends are. …I was going to put an emoticon there, but I’m not sure whether that should be sad or happy, lol.
And we are all definitely here for you. :heart:
I have been your readers for quite sometimes. I always want to ask this.
The Malays that really obey to the adat etc?
I mean the kind that:
“If your parents say no, you can’t do it”
“Always listen to your husband. He always right”
“Don’t be so friendly with the opposite sex because it didn’t look nice”
Twitter: nurulshock
The previous comment, I mean is it your family like that? Accidentally deleted that XD
I agree with you. The adat at colors too our dull life.
By the way, most of the Malays at my place is not like the old one. Maybe because I live at the outskirts of KL.
Sometimes they are rude. I’m ashamed of them most of the times >.<
If the old days, the parents will treat their child nicely. They only smack their child because they love them. But Malays nowadays smack their child because of tension =.= A few days ago, there are a 5 yo girl died because she got abused by her mom's boyfriend. Everyone is pissed ofc.
Sorry for long comment XD
I really love them XD Their songs is somehow different than English and Malays songs.
Twitter: nurulshock
Aw Kitty, I can sympathise. I feel that this is the case with many Asian parents, actually. I know you are older than me but I can imagine that my parents will still be the same when I am older as well. I think that really, most Asian parents are strict and will not let their children do what they want.
In Australia it might be a bit different, because these Asian parents may have adjusted to the carefree culture. I cannot imagine what it must be like in Brunei – perhaps even more strict.
My parents were really strict in the past, and I thought they would ease on me as I grew older. In ways they have, and in other ways they haven’t.
They let me go to my boyfriend’s house when I was only 13. :O And a lot of my friends were guys, and they let me go to their houses. Now, my mum says she is trying to “protect” me and won’t let me go to James’s house.
I imagine your parents are strict in the same manner especially regarding your travel when away from home. So many times I have also felt like running away. I don’t feel like telling anyone that, except for my very close friends or people I feel comfortable talking with. It’s been terrible at home for me sometimes; I just want to escape and be free.
But like you, it is really difficult. I don’t think that you and I are gutless. I think that we are simply just good daughters in that sense. (I am rude to my parents sometimes, I’ll admit it – but in some ways I am good – I don’t get drunk, go to parties or run away.)
I always look to the future as a better point where I will be able to enjoy everything. I know my parents will be both upset, angry and maybe even never let me come back if I were to run away.
James is feeling a lot better! :)
Thank you! I had two days of university already and it’s been quite hectic getting used to the schedule. I don’t have too many classes but the homework is… heavy.
I forget things sometimes; it’s not such a good thing either! I think it is also because I have a short attention span, which makes things doubly bad!
I remember one time last year I was drinking coffee because I was tired from work and university. That hasn’t happened this year but I’ve yawned quite a lot! :P
I think that that is normal. My mind is always miles away and I find it hard to pay attention sometimes. Maybe it’s just that you have a short attention span too. I think it’s a bit scary when you’re driving though; that does need maximum concentration. *hugs*
Twitter: jeorgina
Oh, okay, that’s what I thought jQuery was, maybe, but saying you were learning it (I think that’s what you said) sounded very confusing. Thank you for just saying straight out what it is, lol. It helps!
Could you call each other (on your anniversary)?
Maybe he’s planning something for when he gets back? Idk, that sounds a lot like Gordon… not that he ever travels anywhere, I mean, but he doesn’t have the ENTHUSIASM that I do for things like anniversaries. I actually have to remind him when it’s coming up because he’s so forgetful… but I’ve gotten used to it, I guess. It doesn’t bug me so much that it’s not a big deal to him, it’s just how it is. Plus I wonder if it’s maybe because these aren’t going to be rare because we have lots of anniversaries coming in the future, or something nice like that.
A lot of my offline friends know about my site, and two or three say they read it, but only one of them ever comments, and that’s rare. Like, on Facebook a couple weeks ago she randomly said that she wants me to put my other pottery pages up and that my Pandapple emoticons are cute, lol. I used to want all my friends to pay attention to it, but now I wish they didn’t so I can complain about how I don’t think they’re too great of friends. :P Well… difficult to explain. Not bad friends, but not exactly good. It’s like I’m hardly their friend, and it’s been that way for years. But I think I got very off subject there.
Firstly, I’d like to compliment on the as-usual fantastic layout. Good job. :)
I understand that my parents only want to keep me safe, but sometimes I think they should let me do whatever I want for at least a fay or two only.
Aw, I hope things get better for you Kitty. We’re all here :heart:
There would always be parents who are like that.. quite traditional and close-minded in a sense that they can’t really keep up with what’s really happening in families today and stick with traditions, not hearing out what their children really need to grow as individuals. I’m sorry you’re in such a situation and I really hope things will get better for you in due time :\
i think it happens to the best of us — especially in asian cultures. parents expect you to be obedient at all times but at the same time they expect you to grow up and do things for yourself and your future.
the hypocrisy of it all. sometimes i think it’s some kind of sick, mental joke. you’re always torn in different directions and you can’t really explain it even to them because they could care less in some ways.
Twitter: kressaM
Your navigation makes me think of Gryffindor from Harry Potter because of the colors, hehe.
I’ve been trying to draw chibis, but they’re not that great. :/
Okayyy :beadyeyed: So this layout is downright A-DOR-A-BLE. :kiss:
I get what you’re talking about. It’s like they get kicks out of saying no, they say it so much. >:( My mom was like that, my dad’s not though. Kinda balanced it out.
I really love my logic class, actually, probably mostly because it reminds me of math, lol. I love math, especially algebra. :heart: I haven’t had any need to take it since I graduated high school, though, so I’ve missed it. The only thing not so great about my class is that the professor is so easy, we’ve hardly made it through half the syllabus. I really wish we could make it through the whole thing, but there’s no way it can happen. :(
UGH. My professor is off somewhere else, too! Takes a week or two to respond to e-mails that are irrelevant by the time I get them. >_<
Ah… good luck to you and Leon with your project. And good luck to me for my tests. XP May we all pass.
I’m lucky because my mom is crazy!!! =)
Ask Kitty!!
Heheh, that is right. Your mom is like that. Honestly, there were times when I got all weirded out by her.
Funny that word, weirded. Is there such a word, I wonder?
Twitter: Twitter