There is not much going on in this muse’s life apart from the repetitive and mundane routine; that is preparing for work, go to work, come back home, sleep. It’s not so much of the boredom the situation presents, but rather the feeling of discontent about the job itself. After over a decade of convincing myself this is my dream job, it finally dawns to me that teaching might not be the thing I want to do after all. In fact, I don’t think the job suits me. I always end up getting frustrated and crabby at the end of the day because of various reasons; like kids who come to class only to meet their friends and waste their parents’ money. I get that a lot, yeah.
Ironically, despite the nature of my job requires me to do a lot preparation which involves reading from countless printed resources I end up neglecting my personal needs. I used to spend my nights with my books but nowadays I’m usually too exhausted to even spare a few minutes on a book.
And there are also those social obligations that society requires its members to fulfill. Like you have to attend your second cousin-twice-removed’s wedding, despite having never met them before. The logic (given by the elders) is; they are my family, and family must stick together. To me, just because I have blood relations with them, doesn’t mean I have to like them. Just because I share a bloodline with them, that does not mean I have to put up with all the crap they throw at me or tolerate their over-patronising ways. To people who actually believe family is all about tender loving care, sorry to burst your bubble but it’s time to get off that dream clouds. Family means so much more than just being related by blood or marriage, it also means supporting each other and sharing the joys and pains together as well as have a mutual respect for each other.
But I know better than to dwell too much on it because nothing in life is easy, otherwise everybody will simply sit back and reap the rewards. Life sucks, deal with it. As much as I want things to go my way, there are forces beyond my control.