There is not much going on in this muse’s life apart from the repetitive and mundane routine; that is preparing for work, go to work, come back home, sleep. It’s not so much of the boredom the situation presents, but rather the feeling of discontent about the job itself. After over a decade of convincing myself this is my dream job, it finally dawns to me that teaching might not be the thing I want to do after all. In fact, I don’t think the job suits me. I always end up getting frustrated and crabby at the end of the day because of various reasons; like kids who come to class only to meet their friends and waste their parents’ money. I get that a lot, yeah.
Ironically, despite the nature of my job requires me to do a lot preparation which involves reading from countless printed resources I end up neglecting my personal needs. I used to spend my nights with my books but nowadays I’m usually too exhausted to even spare a few minutes on a book.
And there are also those social obligations that society requires its members to fulfill. Like you have to attend your second cousin-twice-removed’s wedding, despite having never met them before. The logic (given by the elders) is; they are my family, and family must stick together. To me, just because I have blood relations with them, doesn’t mean I have to like them. Just because I share a bloodline with them, that does not mean I have to put up with all the crap they throw at me or tolerate their over-patronising ways. To people who actually believe family is all about tender loving care, sorry to burst your bubble but it’s time to get off that dream clouds. Family means so much more than just being related by blood or marriage, it also means supporting each other and sharing the joys and pains together as well as have a mutual respect for each other.
But I know better than to dwell too much on it because nothing in life is easy, otherwise everybody will simply sit back and reap the rewards. Life sucks, deal with it. As much as I want things to go my way, there are forces beyond my control.
#2036 Dorine says:
Aw! (hugs) Sounds stressful.
Try stepping back and see it from another angle – the good side about teaching! Try planning your time and squeezing some free time in your calendar if you can.
Thankfully, there aren’t many social events in my family that I have to attend. The few that exist are the Chinese New Year celebration and praying to my ancestors during a certain time in April which is basically obligatory. Weddings and all, if it’s not in Singapore we don’t really have to go.
After the bad comes the good, I’m sure this bad patch will smooth over <3
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Twitter: dorkiekur
#2037 Leon says:
Plus, it’s all about numbers. Malays have always been obsessed with quantity over quality. The more people that attend your wedding (and hang the expense) the greater the (dubious) honour you are accorded. So if you want a lot of people/family to honour your wedding, you need to go to theirs.
Twitter: FawzieK
#2038 Kitty says:
More people means you need more space to accommodate them, and that in turn, means more money needed. But when the couple separates/divorced, those big celebrations seems pointless (and wasted) in the end. Blargh.
Twitter: nekonette
#2039 Leon says:
True, but then most people don’t marry (for the first time) with the aim of getting divorced later on.
#2042 kressa says:
So are you deciding to take up another major then? You’re still going back to school, right?
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